


Disaster Management

by amythis



Series: Aftershocks [1]
Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: Exploding Season Eight, F/M, Laverne gets deflanderized, Lenny is a hippie, M/M, Minor Character Death, Squiggy has a mouth like a sewer, Threesome - F/M/M, comfort sex that is partly to comfort the reader, the threesome you didn't know you wanted, wacky throuple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:07:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amythis/pseuds/amythis
Summary: A series of unfortunate events leads Laverne  either to the biggest disaster of them all or back home.
Relationships: Laverne DeFazio/Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman, Laverne DeFazio/Lenny Kosnowski, Lenny Kosnowski/Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman
Series: Aftershocks [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704115
Comments: 118
Kudos: 6
Collections: Aftershocks-Verse





	1. Events

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by a lot of things, from a much less destructive earthquake to Missy's encouragement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Event = something that happens, especially of importance

"Hi, Honey, I'm home," Laverne joked as she dropped her plaid suitcase and black purse at the foot of the stairs of her Burbank apartment.

She used to say it occasionally when she lived with Shirley, but of course they'd gone almost everywhere together, until Shirley left her behind. Then she would mumble it when she came back to an empty apartment. She hadn't said it when her new roommates first moved in, but it felt appropriate now, after a two weeks' absence.

But there was no answer, joking or otherwise. She knew one of her roommates had been away almost as long as she had, but the other should've been back by now, unless out for business or personal reasons.

She stepped down into the living room to reassure herself that they hadn't moved out without telling her. She patted the stuffed iguana lying on the phone and said, "Hey, Jeffrey, how's it shakin'?" Again there was no response.

She looked over at the bunk beds by the balcony, although it was only six in the evening, too early for anyone to be asleep, and the boys had promised not to bring dates home during their stay. That was one of many ground rules she laid down while offering them "shelter and refuse," as Squiggy called it.

She didn't know if she would've invited them if Shirley were still here, but she'd done a lot of things these past few months that she wouldn't have done if Shirley were still here. And the boys were temporarily homeless, and it wasn't like Rhonda was gonna invite 'em.

It was a big earthquake, a month ago, bigger than the one that welcomed her and Shirley to Burbank a couple years ago. It didn't last as long but it meant business. It shattered the mirror on Rhonda's ceiling, but luckily she was out at an all-night Hollywood party. It did serious structural damage to the guys' third of the building, but Carmine was away on a five-week gig, singing and dancing in Las Vegas. Lenny and Squiggy were able to crawl out of the purple wreckage of their swinging bachelor pad with their bodies and some of their belongings intact.

Laverne thought at first she'd come out of the disaster unscathed, until the news came about Mike. She shook her head and reminded herself not to remember.

She sighed and went into the kitchen to pour herself milk and Pepsi. Two weeks without her favorite beverage had been even harder than the vow of silence. The first sip was cool, refreshing, and comforting. She sighed more happily and said, like she was Rhonda auditioning for a commercial, "An unlikely but perfect pair."

"Hello," Squiggy said as he entered the front door, not looking surprised to see her, but she had written she was coming home that day. She'd known better than to expect him to meet her bus, but she thought Lenny might if he was back from the tour in time.

She drank some more before she said, "Hey, Squig. Been with a client?" He was in his manager outfit.

He hung his cape and top hat in the closet and said, "A perspective client, yeah." He turned and stepped into the living room, asking, "How was fat camp?"

She'd needed a cover story, so she sent her friends and her father letters (without a return address) saying she had run amok at an all-you-can-eat all-night buffet. It was embarrassing, but far less than the truth would've been. She shrugged and took another sip. "It worked."

He came closer and looked her up and down. "Yeah, you're not as skinny as Shirley, before she got knocked up I mean, but a big butt looks good on you."

"I've missed you, too."

"Hey, it was a compliment, and at least I didn't say 'ass.' "

She shook her head and put her half-empty glass in the fridge. She thought about getting ice cream out of the freezer, if the boys had left her any.

"Don't even think about falling off the dieting wagon, Woman, when you haven't made dinner yet."

She slammed the refrigerator door shut. "Don't talk to me like I'm your wife!"

"Ha, you should be so lucky."

Someone with shoulder-length blond hair said, "Hi-ho," over the half-open Dutch door.

They both exclaimed, "Lenny!", and ran over to give him a hug, although Squiggy had to run further and faster to jump into his best friend's arms before Laverne could even play with his love beads.

She took Lenny's acoustic guitar from him as he carried Squiggy and his duffel bag over to the couch. She and Lenny gave each other that look that always meant more than she'd admit and they simultaneously said, "You're back."

"Yeah," she said, "just a few minutes ago."

"Um, how was your health retreat?"

She shrugged. "It worked."

"Yeah, you look nice. Well, the same as before."

He was still the same awkward Leonard Kosnowski, even in striped bell-bottoms, a fringed vest, and a white embroidered peasant shirt. He looked away as he set down his buddy and his luggage. She took the chair to the side since the boys were on the sofa, and she set the guitar on the coffee table.

"Thanks. How was the tour?"

"So groovy, Laverne! We played up and down the Coast and I met some really beautiful people."

Squiggy asked, "Yeah? Bring back any phone numbers for me?"

"I mean beautiful inside."

"So your groupies was all dogs, huh?"

Lenny blushed and Laverne wondered if he'd taken a rock musician's privileges on the road. There was something still so pure and innocent about Lenny, although he was pushing thirty, like all of them.

"I'm happy for you, Len, that you got to play in a real band."

"The Squigtones was real," Squiggy said defensively.

"I mean a successful band."

"Who won the Shotz Talent Show one year in a row?"

"I'm just doing backup," Lenny said, having had to take on more peace-making since Shirley's departure.

"Don't anyone wanna hear what I've been up to while holding down the fortress?"

Laverne rolled her eyes, but Lenny said, "Of course, Squig."

"Well, besides being at Rhonda's beck and college," an obligatory leer here, although Squiggy was acting apartment manager in Carmine's absence, "I've been single-handily running the Squignowski Talent Agency of Burbank."

"STAB," Lenny said on cue.

"And don't think that interrecepting Laverne's obscene phone calls is as fun as it sounds." Laverne felt nauseous, although not as nauseous as she did when Squiggy added, "Which reminds me. Laverne, the clinic called with your results today."


	2. Prevention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prevention = the action of stopping something from happening or arising

"Clinic?" Lenny repeated. "Like a weight loss clinic?"

"Squiggy, what did they say?"

"That you're negative." Before she could feel the full rush of relief, he added, "I coulda told them that. But I guess your bad attitude was impossible to cure in just two weeks."

"Wait, was this a psychologistical retreat?"

"Yeah, Laverne," Squiggy taunted, "was you in the loony bin?"

"No," she snapped, "a convent!"

Both men stared at her and then burst out laughing. It took them a couple minutes to realize she wasn't joking.

"Um, Laverne," Lenny said hesitantly, "you're not a very good Catholic."

"And you are?" The last time she'd seen him, he'd talked about exploring Eastern religion and philosophy, but he thought "Zen" was spelled with an X.

"I don't pretend to be. I'm just trying to figure out what's right for me."

"Well, I'm just trying to get right with God."

"Because of the sin of glutenny?" the Lutheran asked.

"No, because of, never mind." She got to her feet. "I'm gonna go make supper. What do you guys want?"

"I wanna know what's going on."

She looked into the sweet blue eyes and thought what she thought two weeks ago. She could maybe tell Lenny, but how could she tell Squiggy?

"I want beetloaf, but it can wait until after you spill your guts."

She sighed and sank back into the chair. "OK, I'll tell you, but you have to not say anything while I'm talking."

Lenny mimed zipping his lips, but Squiggy said, "What, like a vow of silence?" She glared at him, so he covered his mouth like the third "no evil" monkey.

She didn't cover her eyes, but she did close them so she wouldn't have to see the boys' reactions. "It was the night before I went away. I went to a beach party, drank to Buddy Holly's memory, and woke up on a naval aircraft carrier. All the sailors saluted and they tooted the big horn. My blouse was ripped from the shoulder down, so that my L was falling off. I couldn't remember anything between singing 'That'll Be the Day' and waking up. I ran all the way from the pier to the nearest Catholic church. I went to Confession, because I knew that whatever happened was my fault. And the priest sent me on a religious retreat."

She cleared her throat before going on. "At the convent, after learning not to talk even when I prayed, God brought back my memory of that night. The sailors had auctioned me off, for charity they said. The highest bidder got to have me on the deck of the carrier, while everyone else watched. It was worse than I hoped but better than I feared. I told the mother superior, not an official Confession, because nuns can't hear those. I had to break my vow of silence, but she understood. And she really broke the rules so I could go to the nearest free clinic, to be tested for VD. They said they'd call me at home with the results, but it probably wouldn't be until at least tomorrow."

She risked opening her eyes, braced for the boys' leers. The sweet blue eyes were shedding tears, while the fierce brown eyes were flashing with anger.

"We'll sue the Navy!" the feisty little man thundered.

She wanted to comfort Lenny and she wanted to laugh at Squiggy, although she knew that this was his form of sympathy. Instead she said, "Thanks but I don't think I could take further public humiliation."

"You said it was your fault, Laverne, but it wasn't."

"Thanks, Len, but it kind of was. I've always loved men, especially sailors, and I have my, I don't know, exhibitionist side, so it's like I wanted this to happen."

He shook his head. "Laverne, how did you feel after you woke up in an empty vat after the Shotz party nine years ago? I mean the morning after, before your pregnancy scare."

She blushed at the memory but tried to answer honestly. "I felt confused, a little worried I might've gone all the way with a stranger, but proud I guess, because I won a drinking contest against a bunch of guys."

"Not ashamed?"

"No," she mumbled.

"You see, Laverne," Squiggy said, unable to stay out of it, "this isn't your usual wacky misadventuring. Yeah, you've lost your Bering Strait with Shirley gone, especially after another boyfriend died, but you shoulda just stayed home that night and had a quiet little orgy with us."

She didn't know which was the worst part, him casually referring to Randy and Mike like that, or him assuming she was enough of a floozy that she would've casually slept with her roommates. She wanted to punch him but she settled for leaping to her feet and slapping his cheek. Then she ran up to her bedroom, ignoring Lenny calling after her.

She locked the door after her, hearing her father's voice in her head. "It's not that I don't trust you, Muffin, and I know those two guys aren't as bad as they look. And it's not like you'd be living in sin with one guy and one bed. But things happen. So don't let 'em upstairs when you're up here. Even if there is only one bathroom."

"Things happen, Pop," she whispered, as she cried quietly into her pillow.

She knew she could never tell him what happened on the aircraft carrier. She wasn't a 20-year-old virgin who had too much to drink and might've gone all the way with a cute stranger. She was a woman who was pushing thirty and who had learned that there was no point in falling in love, even if the guy didn't die, because it never worked out. So she might as well have fun, even if it wasn't really fun and she hadn't truly been happy since her best friend left for good.

She was a fool to tell Lenny and Squiggy. Lenny was sweet of course, but he didn't get it, that her whole life had led to her needing to do penance in a convent. She had told one lie to the priest, that she had gone fifteen years without Confession. Her father wouldn't have let her get away with that, and of course she wouldn't have been able to twice almost marry Sal Molina in the Church. She just didn't want the priest to think that she could love God as much as she did and still be such a bad girl, such a bad person.

She learned in the convent that she could be a sinner and a good person at the same time. She would just have to struggle against sin, change her behavior in big and small ways. She could start by kicking out the two men she was living with. Or was it charitable to let them stay there until the repairs were done on that side of the building?

She winced at the thought of charity, remembering the look on the face of the sailor who "won" her, especially against the black sky above her, as a crowd in white cheered and yelled obscenities. She pushed the thought away, like she'd learned to push away thoughts of Randy consumed by fire and of Mike taken by earth. Sonny was lucky he hadn't drowned the time he bumped his head doing stunts for a beach movie.

She got out of bed and decided to start with changing her clothes. As soon as she could, she'd buy a new wardrobe. No more miniskirts, maybe not even any more L's, because that was vanity. For now, she'd wear one of Shirley's loose dresses that made Shirl look pregnant even before she was.

Laverne was standing in her underwear when Lenny lightly knocked and said, "I brought up your purse and suitcase."

"Thanks, Len. Just leave 'em by the door."

"Please come back downstairs, Laverne."

"Is Squiggy going to apologize?"

"You know he don't really do apologies."

"Then I think I'll stay up here."

"Come on, Laverne, Squiggy's making dinner."

"You stink at persuasion, Lenny Kosnowski."

He sighed. "I know, but I really do want to talk to you, not through a door."

Maybe they could go somewhere and talk without Squiggy ruining everything. "OK, give me a few minutes."

"Thanks, Laverne." She heard him heading downstairs.

She didn't have a wide selection of dresses to choose from. She'd initially thought that Shirley took all her clothes when she went away with Walter Meeney, but it turned out that there were a few items she rejected and stuffed in the back of the closet downstairs. Laverne had taken them upstairs and ironed them, planning to donate them to charity one of these days.

She winced again and then put on the black & white, knee-length, flowing and beltless number that Shirley wore for her date with the furrier. The hemline came up higher on her than Shirley of course, but it would have to do for now. Then she went downstairs to face the guys again, and whatever culinary disaster Squiggy was serving up.


	3. Design Standards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Design standards = uniform procedures, dimensions, materials, or parts which have been agreed upon by various regulating bodies and refer to all aspects of defining quality and methods of fabrication or installation of materials and equipment

"Is this some kind of a joke?" Laverne asked as she looked at the platter in the center of the little dining table.

"I'm sorry, Your Highness, were you expecting me to cook for you?"

Blushing a little, Lenny said, "I think she means the sangwiches, Squig. They've got Conniefrancistations under the circustances."

"You mean because of my harmless 'orgy' remark? I still think a menagerie de trio, as the Spanish say, is exactly what Laverne needs, but right now I just want to have a nice welcome-back dinner for my two best friends. And this is the thanks I get!"

Lenny promptly said, "Thank you, Squiggy."

"Thanks," Laverne muttered and grabbed the top sandwich off the platter. Normally, she had as hearty an appetite as the boys. But she found herself eating slowly, and not just because she got the BLT, where the B stood for Bosco. She looked over at the little man wolfing down peanut brittle and pickle on pumpernickel. "Am I really your best friend after Lenny?"

With his mouth full, he said, "No, there are 57 other people who've offered to take us in and not asked for nothin' in return."

"Please pass the Heinz 57," Lenny said, as if this was a perfectly normal dinner conversation, which maybe for them it was.

"That's just being a good neighbor," she said as she handed Lenny the sauce. She watched him hit the bottle over his open-face lutefisk and tuna. She shook her head and looked at Squiggy again. "OK, and being an old friend. So, what, you were gonna reward me with group sex?"

Lenny choked on his food, so Squiggy hit him on the back and Laverne got him a glass of water. After Lenny's coughing fit died down, the first thing he said, after thanking them both, was "It wouldn't be just sex, Laverne."

She raised her eyebrows. "And what else would it be?"

His cough this time was small and self-conscious. "Squiggy can explain it better than I can."

She looked at the brunet man again and said, "This I gotta hear." She actually meant it. She wished Shirley were there to share the amusement, but Shirl probably would've found the whole evening disgusting.

Squiggy sighed and regretfully set aside his food. "I hoped to make this a postprandiary conversation, but if you insist. Let's start with Lenny, since he's too modest to, pardon the expression, blow his own horn."

Lenny looked as uncomfortable as she felt, but neither of them said anything. They both knew that it was best to let Squiggy have his say.

"He's tall, blond, and blue-eyed. All-American, if you can get past the hippie clothes, and it's not like he'd be wearing them to bed."

"Not even the love beads?" she cracked, trying not to imagine it at the dinner table.

"I'd wear whatever you want, Laverne," Lenny whispered.

"And that's why you need to fuck him." They both flinched, so Squiggy said, "I beg your pardon. That's why you need him to make sweet love to you. He's sweet and he loves you."

She'd known this for years, but it felt strange to have Squiggy say it so matter-of-factly. So she asked, "And why should I have sex with you, Squig?"

To her surprise, Lenny answered, "Because you're in his Top Five."

"Top five what?"

"Top five women he'd like to be with before he dies, celebrities exclusive."

"Let me guess. Rhonda is number one. Or does she count as a celebrity?"

"Nah, Shirley's number one."

"My Shirley? I mean Walter's Shirley. She's a married woman!"

"It's before I die, Laverne," Squiggy spoke up again, "and maybe I'll outlive Mr. Meeney."

She thought that was one of many reasons Shirley was a long shot, but Walter was in the military, so that part at least might come true. Instead of arguing the morality or the logic, she asked, "Why is Shirley at the top of your voe-dee-oh-doe list?"

"Number one, she's my last and best hope for a short woman. Kissing is better when you're about the same heighth."

"No, it's not!"

"Spoken like a woman with a fetish for tall men."

"It's not a fetish."

Instead of arguing the point, Squiggy said, "And fucking standing up is better."

"I'm not sure I want to hear the rest of your reasons," she said, knowing she wouldn't be able to unsee the image of Shirley getting humped by Squiggy, maybe standing in a doorway.

Lenny swallowed the careful bite of his sandwich he'd just taken and said, "Yeah, you do."

"Well, maybe," she admitted, since she couldn't help being curious.

"Number two, the shoulders."

"The shoulders?" she repeated. It seemed like the last part of female anatomy anyone could possibly be interested in, unless Squiggy had some fetish she'd never even heard of.

"No tribute to Shirley Wilhelminy Feeney Meeney would be complete without mentioning shoulders. Whether she is shimmering her own or laying her head upon a man's, she discovered long before Mr. Paul Anklet how important shoulders are in the delicate art of seducement."

"That was beautiful, Squig."

"Thank you, Len. Number three, as Carmine calls it, her angel face. By which he and I don't just mean her dimples and Irish freckles and all her girl-next-floor prettiness. We also mean the way her sweetness shines through, lighting up her soft pink lips and her big blue eyes."

"The sweetness is number four," Lenny helpfully explained.

"And number five is she's a gold-digger."

"Do you want me to slap you again?"

"Not at the dinner table. I admire that underneath all her romanticism, she never lost sight of her need to marry for money."

"Shirley loves Walter."

"And as my sainted grandmutter used to tell Squendolyn, it's as easy to marry a rich man as a poor man. Or in this case, dump Mr. Rags to Riches Ragusa for a professional man."

"I can see why Rhonda's number two on your list."

"Nah, Rhonda's his number three. Big Rosie is number two."

"Why would anyone wanna screw Rosie Greenbaum? Other than poor Ogden, who signed up for it."

This time Squiggy quickly ticked the reasons off on the fingers of one hand. "Big, redhead, definitely married only for money, proud to be a bimbo, your old frenemy. That all adds up to sexy as hell."

"I can see the first four turning you on, but why should you care if Rosie and I can't stand each other?"

"Why should I care? Just hearing the way she said 'DeFazio,' and knowing that Shirley was the only thing stopping a catfight from breaking out, that always made me stiff as a boardroom."

Lenny bit his wrist, although he had to push down the beaded hemp bracelet.

"Don't tell me you wanted her, too, Len."

"Not her," he mumbled and put his hands back on his sandwich.

"Rhonda's on both our lists," Squiggy blabbed.

"Oo, let me do the reasons!" She ticked them off on one hand. "That body, that hair, that voice, that gold-digging, and that complete self-absorption."

The dark eyes widened and Squiggy reverently whispered, "It's like you suddenly saw into my soul!"

Lenny set down his sandwich again. "You see, Laverne, she'd be totally using us for her own pleasure, but we'd be too mesmerified to resist."

"Then why don't you two go next door after dinner and ask for a threesome?"

"Rhonda's out of town this weekend." Squiggy started on another sandwich, something with mayo dripping out of it.

"Besides, I don't love her."

She couldn't look at Lenny when he talked like that, so she looked at Squiggy and said, "Let's see. Your number one is in Germany. Your number two is in Milwaukee. Your number three is out of town. Good thing your number four is in beautiful downtown Burbank."

Squiggy looked at her like she was crazy. "She's in Kentucky for the derby, remember?"

It took her a moment to get it, and not just because she was at the bottom of his Top Five. "Wait, do you mean Edna? My God, Squiggy, you have the hots for my stepmother?"

"Ex-stepmother," Lenny gently reminded her.

Edna left her sixth husband soon after Shirley left with her new husband, both of them saying goodbye in notes. If Laverne had still had Edna in her life, she would've had someone to turn to instead of a priest she'd never met before, someone warm and wise. Or maybe that night wouldn't have happened.

"She was Mrs. Babish when she made my list."

"She's old enough to be your mother!"

"Which means she's too old to get pregnant."

"Oh, Jesus, you're gonna make me listen to your reasons, aren't you?"

"Trust me, Laverne, your curiosity will get the best of you if you don't hear them," Lenny said, as if he'd broken down and asked Squiggy "Why Mrs. Babish?" years ago.

She sighed. "Go ahead."

"Too old to get pregnant but well preserved. A good dancer. Divorced five times, I mean six. Always good about us being late with the rent."

"That's only four reasons. I thought we each get five."

" 'Well preserved' is separate from 'too old to get pregnant,' " Lenny said helpfully.

"Yeah, but I'm thinking of dropping one of those and adding 'likes short men.' I mean, she did run off with a jockey."

Laverne frowned at this reminder that Edna was not always wise.

"Which brings us to my number five."

"I'm so flattered to be in such esteemed company."

"As you should be."

"Yeah, Terry Buttafucco is only number seven."

Knowing she might regret this, Laverne had to ask, "Who's number six?"

"Leather Tuscadero," Lenny said, as if it should be obvious.

Laverne really wanted to hear that list, but Squiggy cleared his throat and said, "As I was saying, this brings me to my number five."

She did and didn't want to hear his reasons, so she cracked, " 'Gold-digger' had better not be on there."

"Don't be stupid," Squiggy said. "Number one, you love to kiss and you're good at it. Number two, like Mrs. Babish, you're a good dancer. Number three, you're the funniest girl I know. Number four, I enjoy arguing with you. And last but not less, good tits and ass."

"Um, well, thank you."

He shrugged. "It's the simplistic truth."

"So that explains why you want to sleep with me, but why should I want to sleep with you?"

"Well, that should be oblivious," Squiggy said, with mustard and ketchup on his face, like the lunch room portrait of Mr. Shotz the day Laverne and Shirley quit the brewery.

She shook her head. "Thank you very much for your offer, Gentlemen, but the only sandwich I want in my bedroom tonight is this one." She randomly took one off the stack and went upstairs.

She was disappointed to discover it was simply bologna and lettuce on white.


	4. Preparedness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare = to make something ready for use or consideration, to make someone ready or able to deal with something
> 
> Preparedness = a state of readiness

This time, Lenny didn't go after her. The boys left her alone the rest of the evening. They didn't even come upstairs to brush their teeth or use the toilet. She really hoped they weren't using the kitchen sink.

Actually, their hygiene since moving in had been impressive. They'd grown up a lot since the time Laverne and Shirley had let them and Carmine apartment-sit but the boys weren't allowed to go in the bedroom and they had to use the service station restroom. (Carmine got to sleep in Shirley's bed since she wasn't in it.) Maybe they were just grateful she'd taken them in during a time of crisis. Or maybe, with Lenny himself out of town for a couple weeks, it wasn't as much fun to do things like fill the bathtub with pudding and hold moth races on the balcony.

The boys had always been weird, and she decided to just chalk this "little orgy" suggestion up to their weirdness. After enough time had passed, maybe just a day or two, she'd act like they could all go back to what passed for normal. For now though, she would spend as little time as possible with them.

She wavered in this decision when 8:30 rolled around and she could hear them laughing at _Gomer Pyle_. She had to turn on _Star Trek_ on the little set in the bedroom to try to drown them out. She loved this show and had a crush on Captain Kirk, but tonight she wished she was sitting on the couch watching Jim Nabors with her neighbors.

Both televisions went off at nine o'clock, and Laverne whispered into the silence, "God, I want to be with them!"

She hadn't meant that as a prayer, but maybe she should pray about this, silently of course.

_Dear Lord, I want to be with them. I know it's crazy and a sin, but I still have that desire. You know about me and Lenny, how tempted I've been sometimes, even though my brain and Shirley used to steer me away. Lord, why do you have to make him cuter and sweeter year after year? And why does he look sexy instead of silly in hippie clothes? The way those striped bell-bottoms show off his tushie and his package and— Jesus, I'm sorry!_

_I always thought of him and Squiggy as a package deal. If I got with Lenny, then Shirley would be stuck with Squiggy. Like in that dream I had, where I was a fat old spinster. But now Shirley is gone and everything has changed._

_Do I want Squiggy? A month ago, before the earthquake, I would've thought that was a ridiculous question. Even now, I'm mostly curious. I at least wanna find out why he got bleeped out on _The Dating Game._ And, yeah, I wonder what it'd be like to be with two men at once. And these are two men I know and trust._

_God, when I went to that beach party, there were cute guys I knew, not like I know Lenny and Squiggy, but I'd consider them friends. I drank to relax and I was flirty, including with those two handsome sailors who crashed the party. When they invited me to another party, I was falling down drunk and I said yes. Neither of them won me. I don't know if that would've made it better. The guy who did, I don't know if he was cute or not, but I didn't like the look on his face when he tore my blouse and yanked up my skirt, like he had to steal what he already had a claim to._

She shook her head and pushed the image away.

_I tried to tell myself that it was a compliment, all these guys wanting me, including the guys watching the "winner." But I could've been any girl. Hell, sorry, heck, I could've been a blow-up doll, no feelings or thoughts._

_And the Shotz party, well, I was lucky that time that they just treated me like one of the guys. And Shirley and I were lucky the time we accidentally ate pot brownies and almost married British rock stars who were just using us for tax purposes. But even when I'm sober, I don't make the best decisions about men._

_So why not do something that I know going into it is stupid? Dear Lord, forgive me but I am about to commit double fornication. I am entering into this with my free will and not blaming it on the earthquake or any other crappy event that has occurred in the past six months. And if this makes me a bad person, well, I can live with that. Amen._

Then she got out of bed, brushed her teeth, and went to the drawer where she kept her Frederick's of Hollywood collection.

....

As Laverne crept quietly down the short staircase, she told herself it wasn't too late to turn around. The lights were out, so the boys had either gone out to celebrate Lenny's return or gone to sleep early. They would never have to know she had put on her old green Glad to Be Bad Nightie, with black trim and little red hands on the chest, and matching Scanty Panties to seduce them.

Then she heard a voice from near the balcony. "Do you think Laverne's all right?"

"She's probably just recovering from all that talking after a fortright of silence."

"I just wish I could hold her."

"Len, Lenny, Leonard, Private Kosnowski. Don't be a dope. You know how Laverne is."

It was tempting to keep eavesdropping, but she knew that wouldn't be fair, and she might lose her nerve. So she called over to them, "How is Laverne?"

"You tell us," Squiggy said.

She wanted to say she was horny or lonely, but she felt like neither explained why she was there. So she said, "Awake." Then she bumped into the couch.

"Laverne, are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Lenny, but you two keep talking so I can follow the sound of your voices."

"Young Lady, what are you wearing?"

It now occurred to her that their eyes had had more time to adjust to the dark than hers had, but they must not have got a good look at her until she got past the couch. "A nightie," she answered.

"Oh-ho, wow-ow!" Lenny suddenly sounded stoned. Luckily it wasn't much further to the bunk beds and Lenny was holding his arms out to gather her in. "Hey, Laverne," he said as he caressed her back.

"Hey, Len. Um, Squig, I need to talk to Lenny a minute."

"Go ahead, I'll enjoy the view."

She realized he expected her to stand there and talk while Lenny kept lying in the top bunk. So she whispered, "Lenny, if you love me, why do you want to share me with Squiggy?"

Lenny kissed her hair as he whispered, "Squiggy's right. You need both of us right now, me to love you and him to, well...."

"Hate me?"

"No, no, Squiggy likes you, a lot."

"Right, I'm higher on his best friend list than his humpable women list."

"You and Squiggy are so much alike in some ways, personalities I mean, not interests. He wants you but he knows it'll be volatiled."

"Then why— oo, Lenny!" He was nuzzling her neck now.

"Because we think you want to be treated like a bad girl, but in a safe way. Not the grocery store."

"No, I got that."

"He can talk dirty to you when I'm too shy and he can play with you when you and me are making love."

"What do you mean by play with?"

He looked her in the eye and said, "You really wanna know?"

She hesitated and then nodded.

He called down, "Hey, Squig, Laverne wants a preview!"

"I bet she does, with her nipples all poky like that."

Lenny gasped, like he was the one being surprised, but Laverne bit her lower lip as Squiggy teased her breasts with his hands through the fabric.

"Mmm, these pretty titties wanna be squeezed and sucked so bad! Don't you wish you could see 'em, Len?"

"Laverne!" Lenny moaned, like she was the tease.

She nodded eagerly, so one of his hands eased her left strap down, exposing the breast that he caressed and gently squeezed. Then she felt Squiggy's tongue flick the nipple, making her groan.

She stroked the long blond locks and twisted the oily hair-worm as the boys worked as a team to pleasure that breast. Sometimes Squiggy accidentally licked Lenny's fingers, but neither man flinched.

While Lenny cupped the breast so Squiggy could suck as much of it as he could fit in his mouth (which turned out to be a lot, like he was training for Rhonda), Laverne necked with Lenny and moaned both boys' names in Lenny's ear.

Squiggy didn't stop until he bumped his head on the underside of Lenny's bunk. Swearing he was fine, he stopped kneeling and lay down again.

"Maybe we should go upstairs," Laverne suggested.

"What about your father's rules?" Lenny asked.

She stroked his face. "I won't tell if you won't."

"If we all go upstairs," Squiggy said, stroking Laverne's legs, which she had kept shaving in the convent, even if she wasn't sure if it was allowed, "then I wanna watch you two fuck."

Lenny groaned softly but Laverne asked, "Don't you wanna cross me off your list, Squig?"

"Not tonight. Tonight I wanna tease you and get you all horny for Lenny."

"Thanks, Squig!" Lenny gasped.

"How do you know I'm not already horny for Lenny?" Laverne asked saucily.

"Hm, let's find out." Squiggy's hands moved up her inner thighs and then one lightly landed on her underpants. "Skimpy, red silk panties! Such a naughty girl!"

"Laverne!" Lenny cried, his hand squeezing her exposed breast.

"You wanna fuck this naughty girl, don't ya, Len?"

"Squiggy!"

"She wants to fuck you, don't ya, Laverne?" Squiggy's fingers teased as much as his words, playing along the borders between silk and skin. "She's getting wet, Len, just like your dick must be so stiff right now."

It was too dark for Laverne to see, even if Lenny weren't half covered by a blanket, but she could imagine his erection, was imagining it.

"Mmm, her pussy's getting even wetter!" A couple of Squiggy's fingers slipped inside her panties. "This is a cunt that's hungry for Kosnowski cock."

"Yes!" she cried.

"The two of you fucking, Lenny's hard dick right where my hand is now." Squiggy started rubbing her soaking labia, his thumb vibrating her swollen clit. He stroked his way in between the slick inner lips. "You need to fill this wet, hungry pussy, Len, because you're gonna love his big long schlong, Laverne."

Squiggy stopped talking and just sucked her breast and pleasured her inside her panties, as Laverne and Lenny started necking madly. She licked and bit Lenny's neck and thrust against and squeezed Squiggy's hand, while Lenny looked like he was himself on the edge of orgasm, his eyes rolling back in his head.

"Baby, wait for me," she pleaded, "sweet Lenny, don't come until you can come in me!"

"I'll try!" he gasped and rained kisses on her face. "But I want you to come all over Squiggy's hand. Right. Now!"

So she did.


	5. Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Training = the action of teaching a person or animal a particular skill or type of behavior, the action of undertaking a course of exercise and diet in preparation for a sporting or other event

Laverne was thinking of beatniks. Lenny wasn't wearing his hippie threads, just the love beads and the hemp bracelet. He was sitting there at the foot of her bed in a white undershirt that clung enough to show off his skinny but not muscle-less torso, and peace-sign boxer shorts that showcased his erection nicely. Squiggy was lying on his stomach in Lenny's Bullwinkle pajamas, which somehow fit both men. He was absorbed in reading one of the diaries Shirley left behind and seemingly indifferent to the conversation on his right.

"So you didn't catch anything on the aircraft carrier? I mean, it's awful what you went through and I want to beat up all those sailors, but...."

She kissed his cheek. "I know, Len."

"Are you sure you want this, after what happened?"

"I want to feel loved," she whispered.

He put his arms around her and kissed her hair. "I want to give you that. But me and Squiggy's rubber collection was tragically destroyed in the earthquake."

"She's wearing a diatribe," Squiggy said, turning the page.

"A what?" his friends both said.

"You know, a rubber cup up her muff. I felt it when I was fingering her."

"You mean my diaphragm?"

"That's what I said. Hey, listen to this: 'Ensign Benson is handsome and charming, but is he a professional man?' "

Laverne rolled her eyes. She'd read that diary more than once over the years, and it held no surprises for her anymore, although she could see why Shirley didn't want Walter to read it.

"So I don't have to wear a love glove?"

She looked at the eager, hopeful, and, OK, horny expression on Lenny's face. "What about all your beautiful groupies?"

He shrugged. "Except for kissing a couple fans, I've been living like a monk." He kissed away her wince as he said, "Sorry, I forgot you'd been living like a nun. It's just, I kept thinking about how I'd be coming home to you, and getting together with strangers on the casual would feel different now."

"But, Lenny, we weren't involved and I," she looked down in shame, "wasn't exactly saving myself for you."

He gently cupped her chin so he could look into her eyes with his warm ones. "You are still yourself, no matter what you do or other people do to you. And just being around you is all I've ever wanted."

They probably would've kissed on the lips if Squiggy hadn't said in his Shirley falsetto, " 'I just know I'm going to have to break dearest Ensign Benson's heart when he proposes tonight!' "

Laverne shook her head and said, "That Burt Lancaster is really something, isn't he?"

Lenny dropped his hand and blinked. "He is?"

Squiggy got it though and said, "You mean to tell me that there are no motels in the entire state of Hawaii?"

"Oh! Role play!" Lenny exclaimed.

Laverne nodded. Thinking of sitting on the couch with the boys while Lenny gave her advice about friendship, and Squiggy read a comic book, reminded her of the time she watched _From Here to Eternity_ with them.

Squiggy quickly tossed Shirley's diary under the bed, rolled onto his back, and then sat up. "It's like the whole world is out on a date tonight."

Lenny covered both his eyes with one hand. "Squiggy, you're jumping around in the script and I can't remember my lines!"

Laverne patted his other hand. "Len, you just have to be yourself."

"Sorry, had a little performance anxiety there. Um, I'm holding a bowl of popcorn in my lap. " He mimed it with both hands. Sounding like he was in a school play, he proclaimed, "He ain't such a much. He forgot to bring a towel to the beach."

"Blanket," Squiggy corrected.

"Why would Burt Lancaster bring a towel to the blanket?"

"No, you said back then that Lancaster shoulda brought a blanket to the beach."

"Wouldn't it be easier to dry off with a towel?"

Feeling she needed to take control of the situation again, Laverne looked at Lenny's lap and said, "Why, Lenny, you're so sweet to me!"

Blushing, he said, "Um, well."

"Buttering each piece of popcorn by hand!"

"Ain't that what you're supposed to do? I mean, not at the refreshment stand, because that would take hours."

"Ring ring!" Squiggy rang.

She glared at him. "What are you doing?"

"As you'll recall, the phone rang for Shirley."

"Yeah," Lenny said, "but after the pronouncer said her name."

"Oh, right." Squiggy cleared his throat. "This is Wolfman Jack asking Miss Shirley Feeney of Milwaukee to name that tune in five notes."

"I don't know, Squig, that's not quite how I remember it."

Exasperated but still trying to salvage the situation, Laverne got up and went over to pick up the phone. "Hello, this is Shirley Feeney."

Both boys looked at her and Lenny said, "Her Shirley imitation is better than yours."

"Well, she's a girl so she has a unfair advantage."

Laverne could've pointed out that her Wolfman Jack imitation was also better than Squiggy's, but instead she told the dial tone, "Oh, Shirl, I was just messin' around."

"I don't remember this part," Lenny said.

She waved her free hand like she needed him to be quiet and said into the receiver, "What's that, Shirl? Your date's car broke down and you have to stay in a motel with him all night?"

Lenny bit his hand and Squiggy made a kissy-kissy face, both with the traditional accompanying noises.

She again gestured for quiet. "Separate beds, huh? Don't worry, I won't tell Carmine." She hung up and came back to the "sofa." She sat between the boys again. "I guess you guys heard."

Lenny nodded wordlessly, looking utterly baffled by the turn of events, but Squiggy asked, "So what happens with Shirley and her date in the motel?"

"I don't know!" she snapped. Then she reached towards Lenny's lap and asked, "Can I have some more popcorn?"

"Help yourself," he whispered.

She mimed grabbing a handful of popcorn and eating it as erotically as possible, not that there was anything erotic about invisible popcorn, except to Lenny, bless him. "Mmm, it's good even without butter."

Lenny's blue eyes were wide open and he was very hard underneath his invisible bowl.

Squiggy on the other hand impatiently asked, "Are you two gonna fuck tonight or what? 'Cause I could be downstairs watching actual television."

"Don't rush her, Squig."

"Hey, I'm doing you a favor. I'm not the one with blue balls."

She looked over at Squiggy's crotch and noticed what she should've noticed before. He did not have an erection.

"Wait, you used to get boners over me and Big Rosie insulting each other, but you didn't even get a semi from sucking my boob and heavy petting?"

Lenny let out a little moan, but Squiggy calmly said, "Let's just say I took care of my excitement ahead of time."

"Please don't tell me you jerked off during _Gomer Pyle_."

"A gentleman doesn't discuss such matters."

Before she could decide on a reply, Lenny stroked her hair and murmured, "So Shirley's gone all night?"

"Uh huh. And I'm not used to sleeping here all alone."

"Would you like us to sleep over?"

"I call dibs on the couch. Len, you get the tub."

"Um, I'll loan you Shirley's Bullwinkle pajamas, Squig. They should be about your size."

"Thanks, Laverne. I think I'll watch some more TV before I retire."

She and Lenny stood up, so Squiggy stretched out at the foot of the bed, miming being riveted by whatever show he was imagining.

"I'm guessing you don't got sleepwear that'll fit me."

"Why don't you just sleep in your underwear, Len?"

"I don't think that would be too warm in the bathtub."

She tilted her head up and whispered in his ear, "You can sleep in Shirley's bed. I'm used to hearing her breathing at night."

Lenny breathed heavily, and she wasn't sure how much was real and how much was for show, but she gently elbowed him in the ribs to make him stop. Then she took his sweaty hand and led him around to the right side of the bed.

"You can sleep over here," she said, letting go of his hand. "I'll go change in the can."

She was going to go over to her lingerie drawer and pretend to take out this nightie and matching panties, but Squiggy yelled, "Hey, down in front! You're blocking Deborah Cars!"

She rolled her eyes and ended up climbing over Lenny's long legs and the left side of the bed to get to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror, meeting her own dazed green eyes, thinking what a strange night it had been so far and it was only getting started. She thought about fixing the hair and makeup that were messed up from making out with Lenny, but she decided that that poor boy had waited long enough.

She posed seductively in the bathroom doorway and exclaimed, "Why, Lenny, you've got a huge stiffie!"

He murmured, "You're so gorgeous and sexy, Laverne."

She blushed but murmured back, "Then maybe we'd better push the beds together."

He got out of bed and helped her act that out. She had tried sleeping in the pushed-together beds after Shirley moved out, but it did not go well. She spent a good chunk of her first paycheck from the aerospace company on a California king, big enough for two, or three as it turned out. Lenny and Squiggy were the first men to share it since Mike, but life had been full of surprises ever since Shirley announced her engagement.

She and Lenny lay next to each other and kissed softly, sweetly. Then he whispered, "What about Squiggy?"

"You want me to invite him to join us?"

"No, I mean he's in the next room."

"We'll be quiet and he's got the TV on."

They both looked at the foot of the bed, where Squiggy was pretending to be eating popcorn and watching something funnier than _From Here to Eternity._ "Oh, that Mr. Ed is such a card!"

Laverne and Lenny smiled at each other and then started quietly making out. It was nice to take a break from talking, and from trying to figure out how, who, what, when, where, and why she was. She was with Lenny and it was good.

As they kissed and necked, they stroked each other's chest. His definitely wasn't as broad as Carmine's, but she could feel, through the thin white cotton, how fast his heart was beating, how poky his little nipples were. She'd pulled up the strap of her nightie when she led the boys upstairs, but he now took both straps down, played with both breasts.

Well, both breasts until one hand slipped between her legs and caressed her panties. "So wet, Laverne," he whispered.

She assumed she wasn't supposed to mention that she hadn't showered or changed since Squiggy made her come in her panties, not if this was supposed to be Milwaukee in 1959. So she whispered back, "So hard, Lenny," and teased his boxers with her hand.

He groaned and she moaned, and a minute later neither of them was wearing underpants. He was big, not scarily big, just big enough that she wouldn't have to lie and pretend about it.

"Hey, Len," she whispered in his ear, "how come a guy as well-hung as you has such low self-esteem?"

He shrugged and whispered back, "How come a girl as beautiful as you thinks guys are doing a favor by paying attention to her?"

"I'm not beautiful."

"Yes, you are, My Darling Laverne, inside and out." She wanted to wince at his corniness, but then she shivered at the warmth of two of his long fingers stroking her wet opening. As they slid into and along the walls where his best friend's smaller hand had been so recently, he said, "That's why I want to be inside you, merge our bodies and our souls."

She gurgled something less cosmic or even coherent. She wanted to give him a bit of a handjob, but she didn't want him to come anywhere but where his own hand was right now.

She felt the weight distribution of the bed shift, heard Squiggy's bare feet move across the floor and his odd voice say, "I don't know, I can suspense my disbelieving for a talking horse, but a talking car that's some guy's dead mutter? What do you think, Len? Gasp, Leonard Kosnowski, what are you doing to Laverne DeFazio?"

Lenny looked past Laverne and up at Squiggy. "Um, keeping her from feeling lonely with Shirley gone?"

"Can I watch?"

"Sure, Squig," Laverne said over her shoulder, "pull up a chair."

So he did.


	6. Response

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Response = an answer or reply as in words or in action, a reaction of an organism to a change in its environment

Laverne was lying on her back, her legs spread wide, bent, and raised, not unlike at the free clinic. After a discussion that Squiggy fully participated in, even though no one had asked his opinion, Lenny and Laverne had agreed to be themselves in the here and now, and have Lenny kneel with Laverne's crotch in his lap, while Squiggy would sit in the chair right next to the bed and fondle and lick Laverne as the spirit moved him. Laverne wasn't sure if this counted as group sex, but she had already gone further with Squiggy than she'd ever imagined.

"Hey, Squig, do you realize we've barely even ever kissed? On the mouth I mean."

"Well, I never wanted to step on Lenny's toes. Or vice squad versa."

"You finger-banged me downstairs."

"Only to help my best friend."

"Well, if you don't wanna kiss me on the mouth...."

He leaned over and gave her a quick but deep kiss, his tongue all over and inside her mouth in half a minute. "That's just a preview," he said, as he leaned back in the chair.

She blinked and nodded, not knowing what she thought of the kiss. When Lenny kissed her, he lingered and savored, moving his mouth slowly and carefully, in comparison to Squiggy anyway. She realized now that even when they were frantically making out, the franticness came from her, while Lenny's default mode was more focused. Had he always been like that, or was this a Zen thing?

Lenny finished praying silently to whatever higher power he believed in these days and said, "OK, I'm ready now. How about you, Laverne?"

She felt like she was ready for sex with Lenny and making out with Squiggy, and even ready to face that she didn't know what she was in for with them. "Yes, I'm ready," she murmured.

"Yeah, I'll bet," Squiggy said with all the suggestiveness he could muster.

As a reflex, her left hand tried to slap him, but he caught it in both his hands and started licking her fingers. Lenny grinned down at them as he slid into the mutually agreed upon position. He held his penis with one hand and made it bump against her clitoris as Squiggy sucked her thumb.

With half shut eyes, she said, "Who knew Lenny and Squiggy were such teases?"

"Takes one to know one, Laverne," Squiggy said as he moved their hands down to Lenny's shaft.

Both boys moved their hands away, leaving her in charge of Lenny's dick, while Lenny's hand cushioned her keister and Squiggy's teased her clit. She rubbed her labia and hand along Lenny's length as he murmured, "For you, My Darling."

"Fuckhim fuckhim fuckhim," Squiggy chanted, "you know you want to."

"Oh God!" she and Lenny gasped, thrusting together, and just missing. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Sorry, Laverne," Lenny mumbled.

Squiggy grumbled, "Do I have to do everything around here? It's like training a couple of virgins." He let go of Laverne's clitoris and moved the head of Lenny's penis to Laverne's vaginal opening.

Laverne caressed Squiggy's hand and Lenny's penis at the same time, as she said, "Thanks, Squig, we can take it from here."

"In that case, may I sample more of your ample bosom?"

"I think that's the cleanest proposition you've ever made to me. And yes."

"Thanks," he said but he didn't immediately dive back to her tits. Instead he watched intently as Lenny slowly but unmistakably penetrated her. Laverne didn't blame Squiggy since she was watching it, too, one of her favorite parts in good sex, that moment when you pass from almost to definitely. Finally knowing, after imagining it for however long, how you felt literally around the guy, or for him, how he felt inside you.

Lenny's eyes were closed when she looked up at his face, as if his senses were overloaded and that was the one he'd sacrifice until he could process touch and sound.

"Oh, Lenny, yes, Baby! Mmm, that feels soooo good!"

"Yeah, Len, give it to her slow and deep to start off. Inch by inch!"

Lenny opened sleepy-looking blue eyes and said, "Squig, aren't you supposed to go suck Laverne's tits or somethin'?"

Laverne gasped and Lenny smiled down lazily at her.

"You think just because our boy is shyer and sweeter than me that he's some innocent little lamb? He's got his dirty side, too, you know."

"Squiggy, shut up and go suck my tits. Me and Lenny are tryin' to fuck over here." Her New York accent, which she almost lost in two weeks of near silence, thickened as she swore, and her hips did a saucy little toss that made the blue roll up under Lenny's half-shut eyelids.

Squiggy flashed one of his rare grins. "Well, well, well, Laverne DeFazio is back. You keep that up and I may have to move you to the number four slot."

"Poor Edna."

"Laverne," Lenny begged, "please please please do that move again!"

She rolled her hips. "Like this?"

"That's good, too!" he panted.

They tried different angles and rhythms, trying to work out what worked for them. Squiggy probably would've offered his two cents, but his face was buried in Laverne's bosom, thoroughly yet rapidly kissing, licking, and yes, sucking every inch of her breasts.

After awhile, Lenny went back to teasing her clit with his cock. "I could watch him all day," he said proudly, and affectionately?

"Uh huh!" she moaned, feeling overwhelmed by them, but at the same time needing more from both.

"Hey, Laverne, you want him to fuck your tits?" Lenny asked eagerly, like he was suggesting a _Godzilla_ marathon.

"Whaaaa??"

Squiggy lifted his head and looked up at her face with his dark eyes. "Are you unfamilial with the conception? I'd rub my hard dick against these soft but firm boobs, especially the plywood-able nipples." He tweaked both, making her groan and catch Lenny inside her again, which made Lenny grunt happily.

"Have you noticed how sensitive her tits are, Squig?" Lenny asked as his penis gave her vaginal walls sweet, loving strokes that oddly reminded her of the way he stroked her hair. "Like delicate flowers but also sensitive to touch, really feeling everything you do to them?"

"Yeah, I noticed," Squiggy said and then blew breeze-softly on one nipple. "That's why I wanna fuck 'em. That and the way they bounce back." He squeezed the other breast and then, with those curled Squiggy-fingers that went with his kissy-kissy face, felt it return to its usual shape.

"What do you say, Laverne?" Lenny asked eagerly, switching to shallow strokes so his hand could gently rub her clit, while his other hand rubbed her butt cheeks.

It was hard to talk or think while Lenny was doing all that, not to mention that Squiggy had gone back to licking her cleavage. Still, she managed to twist the hair-worm and ask, "What happened to not tonight, you've got a headache?"

The devil-dark eyes looked up at her and he kissed upward, saying, "I was talking about fucking your hot, naughty twat. Humping your boobs is third base." He licked her left shoulder.

"At most," his best friend agreed.

Unlike Shirley Feeney, Lenny Kosnowski did not have an angel face, but there was something angelic about the blond bangs falling into the blue eyes, even as he made lewd suggestions and gave her a royal voe-dee-oh-doe.

She grabbed Lenny's shoulders, pulling herself into a sitting position, her thighs wrapped more tightly around his slender hips. She looked into the one uncovered blue eye and said, "OK, but you have to stay in me the whole time."

"Darling, I'd stay in you until the end of time if I could." They hugged tightly.

"You two are gonna have to let go of each other if I'm gonna have access to those fuckable funbags."

So they did.

....

After a thankfully brief discussion, the three of them settled into a new position. They were all completely naked now, which was a giggly novelty in itself for the first minute. Lenny sat leaning against the headboard and Laverne leaned against him. Lenny stroked her hair and her face as his penis stroked deep inside the walls that hugged him like a new best friend. And Squiggy squatted so that his penis could nuzzle her breasts.

He was smaller than Lenny in every regard, but he slipped that flexible little cock into her cleavage and back and forth on each breast with impressive speed and skill. It was only when he started really thrusting against one breast that she became aware that he hadn't been at full capacity yet and was what Rhonda had once called, in a description of a movie producer, a grower, not a shower. His penis was still smaller than Lenny's, but not proportionally.

It was less flexible now that it was harder, but that made it feel even better against her nipples, which had stayed poky ever since Squiggy remarked on them. She danced on Lenny's lap, so that both cocks had to chase her. Then Lenny really started rubbing her clit with one hand and she didn't want to get too far from his dick. And Squiggy squeezed her boobs together to better rub his cock along her cleavage.

She came all over Lenny's lap and sort of resented the boys for outlasting her.

Lenny whispered in her ear, "You're so beautiful, Laverne," while Squiggy's assessment was a concise "Hot!"

She turned her head and nuzzled Lenny's neck. "Lenny Baby, don't you wanna come in me?"

"God, yes, Laverne! But I want you to come a lot more tonight first."

"What about Squiggy?"

"I'm enjoying your climacterics as well," Squiggy said as calmly as he could while continuing to give her chest a good humping.

"No, Len, I mean Squiggy is your best friend and we don't want him to feel left out, do we?" She nipped at Lenny's shoulder, making him shudder.

"Oh, don't mind me," Squiggy said, still gliding his gondola along the canal of her cleavage. "Like I said, I'm just an innocent bystandard tonight."

She leaned forward and pouted. "Are you sure?"

"Uh, yeah, I should be heading down to the old bunkhouse." He faked a yawn that turned into a gasp as she licked her lips.

"Then I should kiss you goodnight," she murmured and kissed the tip of his penis.

"Len, I am so sorry," Squiggy said, even as he thrust forward and between her lips.

"Don't apologize, Squig, I've got all this." Lenny's penis teased in and out of her lower lips, as he held her hair back so she could more easily fellate a man she still had hardly kissed on the mouth.

She ground down on Lenny so he would have to fuck her good and hard while she sucked off Squiggy. But Lenny came in her suddenly, startling her so that she gagged and Squiggy slid out of her mouth. Then she was surprised by her own sharp, sudden orgasm.

She felt like the room was spinning and she was sure she was hallucinating when Lenny reached over her shoulder and grabbed Squiggy's cock. Then Lenny thoroughly and lovingly massaged her clitoris as he gave what was clearly not his first blowjob, and she was sure she was going to pass out with ecstasy and confusion.


	7. Resource Management

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Resource management = the process of pre-planning, scheduling, and allocating your resources to maximize efficiency

Laverne sat on the foot of the bed again, but this time facing the two men who were leaning against her headboard. She'd pulled the blanket over her lower half. Her arms were crossed and not just to hide her still stupidly erect nipples. "We need to talk."

Squiggy waved his hand dismissively. "It's OK, Laverne. I forgive you."

"You forgive me?"

"Yeah, obviously you couldn't resist the Squiggman annual magnetism. Or were you apologizing because Lenny had to finish the job?"

"Yeah, about that."

"We was gonna tell you, Laverne," Lenny finally spoke up. "There was just never a good moment."

"So you decided to show me instead."

"I got caught up in the moment," he mumbled.

"And I was already ready to be sucked off," Squiggy said, as if this was completely logical.

"So, I don't understand. Are you guys queer?"

"No!" they scoffed, as if that was a crazy question.

"I love women," Squiggy said.

"And I'm in love with you, Laverne."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"Me and Squiggy have an understanding."

"Yeah, like Shirley and Carmine."

"I'm pretty sure Shirley never went down on Carmine." Unless that was what she meant by "cruising the side-streets of Smut City."

"Wait, why am I Shirley in this scenarium?"

"You wanna be the Big Ragoo, you be the Big Ragoo."

"Thanks, Squig, but you're the better boxer and dancer. You see, Laverne, it's not an exact parallelogram. But Shirley loved Carmine without being in love with him. She always knew she'd marry someone else, but she dated Carmine anti-exclusively. And I love this little guy, but I would never marry him, even if I could."

Squiggy nodded. "I'd make a shitty husband."

"So you're casual boyfriends?" she said, struggling to understand.

"Nah," Lenny said, "we're best friends and we do things for each other."

She thought of how inseparable they'd always been, including on what now struck her as even more double dates than she and Shirley had gone on. "Wait a minute, how many women have you shared?"

"Counting you?" Squiggy asked.

"Yeah."

He looked like he was carefully calculating, including deciding what counted towards the count. At last he announced, "One."

"Wait, I'm your first threesome?"

"We wanted it to be with someone special," Lenny said.

"So all those times you had two girls over, it was never group sex?" She thought of that first Californian earthquake, which the boys mistook for their prowess, and how they had lured two girls home from the beach, except their home was still technically back in Milwaukee. She remembered Sonny telling her and Shirley, over the post-quake breakfast he cooked for them, how, the evening before, two weird guys had signed a three-year lease on the available apartment below his because, "get this, they couldn't find a motel with a vacancy."

"Well, we've had sex with girls in the same room as each other," Lenny said.

"And we have bunk beds."

She thought of the split-level makeout they gave her. They had done their best to make her the focus that night, and maybe it was unfair of her to be bothered by them paying attention to each other at the end. But she knew that wasn't the only reason why it bothered her.

"You guys should've said something about your understanding before it got all hot and heavy."

"Laverne," Lenny said quietly, "do you remember when you almost married Sal Molina? The first time I mean."

"Of course."

"Do you remember the priest mentioning I hadn't been to Confession in three years?"

"Sort of." She'd naturally had a lot else on her mind.

"Well, guess why I stopped going?"

She could imagine it, 17-year-old Lenny, his voice still cracking after five years of puberty, experimenting in private with his best friend, the two of them acting extremely heterosexual in public. And the guilt, that heavy Catholic guilt she knew so well.

"I almost told Anne Marie when I confessed to her at the Pizza Bowl, but I knew I couldn't in front of all our old classmates."

Nuns weren't supposed to hear Confession, but Anne Marie wasn't your average nun.

"We were each other's firsts," Squiggy said quietly. "So that's another reason tonight is kind of a big deal."

She unfolded her arms and crawled to the other end of the bed. She nestled into the Laverne-sized space between them and kissed Squiggy's cheek. "Thank you for loaning me Lenny."

"Well, I sorta owed ya."

She turned to look at Lenny, who for once had an unreadable expression. His voice though was a combination of the common "hurt feelings Lenny" and the rare "quietly angry Lenny." "So we're done here, is that it?"

"Oh, Lenny Sweetie, I don't know," she said brushing his bangs out of his eyes. "This was fun, great really, but...."

He caught her by the left wrist in a way that didn't hurt but actually turned her on, a bit of toughness in the middle of his softness. "But that's all it was, great fun?"

"I don't know, Len." She wrenched her hand away, even though she wanted to pet him and soothe him. "For Pete's sake, I just came back from a nunnery! I want to see my roommates, who have been my best guy friends for years, and just get back to normal life. Then before I can even unpack, I'm spilling my guts about one of the worst nights of my life, and Squiggy's solution is I should go to bed with both of you. Then when I agree, even though I know it'll change everything between us, I find out in bed, after you've kept me off balance the whole time, that you have for years been indulging in sinful and probably illegal practices with each other. Jesus!"

"She's got a point, Len."

Lenny's glare went past her and to Squiggy. "There's nothing wrong with what we do together."

"I know that, but you didn't always know it. Then again, I'm a Lutheran and I've always believed in interpretating the Bible for myself, and nowhere in the Good Book does it say, 'Thou shalt not touch Lenny Kosnowski's schlong.' "

Laverne couldn't help giggling, even if it would further piss off Lenny.

Instead, Lenny gently took her left hand and kissed it. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine. I like it when you stand up for yourself, even against me."

He shook his head. "I've always been a peace-and-love kind of guy, even when I dressed like a hood. I want everyone to get along, so I don't like to get mad, but sometimes I can't help it."

"I enjoy anger," Squiggy said. "It's invinegarating."

She rolled over to face the other man in her bed, although Lenny still held her hand. "But you're not so crazy about the soft emotions are you, Squig?"

"Takes one to know one, Laberne."

Before she could react to him lapsing back into the pronunciation she thought she had finally trained him out of, he softly kissed her mouth. She kissed back, a gentle little kiss, like you'd give a baby's boom-boom, but not meaningless. Lenny squeezed her hand.

"That was nice," she said afterwards.

Squiggy swallowed and his dark eyes looked like hot chocolate, warm and sweet, but something that could burn you if you weren't careful. He gave a little nod that made his hair-worm bob.

She lay on her back so that she could see both familiar and yet surprising faces. "Look, I'm sorry for judging you two, but you gotta remember I've just spent two weeks doing penance for liking sex and men, because I got in over my head."

Lenny let go of her hand so he could stroke her hair. "I told you, Laverne, what those sailors did wasn't your fault."

"I'm starting to see that. But you know, Len, how the Church is about sex outside of marriage and it's hard to just shake that all off. And then they're even worse about, well...."

"Sodom and tomorrow?"

"Uh, yeah."

"The Lutherans ain't too crazy about it neither, but I talked to God about my dick in high school, and me and Him have a understanding."

This time both Lenny and Laverne giggled. Squiggy scowled.

Laverne stroked his abundant black chest hair. "I'm sorry, Squig."

"Don't try to humor me, Woman. I got my pride."

It was one of the biggest differences between him and Lenny, and she knew what she was supposed to do was show him the respect he craved. But her mischievous streak, which she had to tamp down in the convent, especially after the bell-ringing incident, rose to the surface. So she put her head on his shoulder and said in her best Shirley imitation, "I know, Andrew."

"Stop toying with me, Laberne," Squiggy said, although she could hear the arousal inside his annoyance, and he didn't move away.

Lenny stopped stroking her hair and quietly said, "Oh, I get it now."

She sighed and fell on her back again. Why did millions of people get groovy free love and she had to deal with double the relationship drama? No, quadruple. "What, Len?" she asked wearily.

"I understand, Laverne. Now that you've been with both of us, you prefer him."

She wanted to laugh in his face, but she knew that would offend both boys.

"You're a fucking moron, you know that, Kosnowski?"

"Oh yeah, Squiggman?"

"Yeah. If Laverne wanted a monotonous relationship, she wouldn't pick me, and I sure as hell wouldn't pick her. Why do you think I fixed the coin toss?"

"You did?" Laverne and Lenny both gasped. Neither of them had to ask what coin toss.

"Dummy, I picked tails and it was a two-headed corder."

"I didn't notice," Lenny whispered, and Laverne felt like she could see wedding bells in the blue eyes. Hippie rock musician or not, he still had an old-fashioned streak, and it was only a year ago that he'd told her that if he really loved someone, he'd marry them rather than live in sin and upset God, even though he knew damn well that Laverne was no virgin. And even though, as it turned out, he'd been sexually involved with Squiggy even before the boys became roommates.

She reminded herself that, even when she thought she might be pregnant, she hadn't let herself get rushed into marrying Lenny. Although it was becoming abundantly clear that there was no way tonight's encounter was a simple one-night stand, she was not ready to have a flower-child wedding to Lenny, with Squiggy as best man of course.

She didn't have to fake her yawn. "Guys, it's late. Can we talk about this in the morning?"

To her surprise, Squiggy patted her on the top of the head and Lenny kissed her cheek. They both said, "Sure, Laverne," and climbed out of bed.

"Wait a minute, where are you going?"

"Back to the bunkhouse?" Lenny said uncertainly.

"You said you'd keep me from feeling lonely with Shirley gone." She pouted at Squiggy and said as girlishly as she could, "And I'm awful lonesome!"

The boys looked at each other, nodded, and jumped back into bed. It was a wonder the bed didn't break, and she couldn't help imagining what this poor bed was in for the next, well, at least week until Carmine came back.

She hadn't yet let herself think about other people's reactions to this "menagerie." It was something else she could deal with tomorrow. Right now she tried to lose herself in goodnight kisses and tickles that made even Squiggy giggle.

They didn't discuss sleeping arrangements but fell easily into what felt most natural. Lenny lay on his back and she used his almost hairless chest as a pillow, her arms around his stomach and back, his hands on her left hip and shoulder. Squiggy curled up against her back, one hand on her chest, the other over Lenny's on her hip.

She yawned, " 'Night, Boys."

"Goodnight, Laverne."

Soon blue, green, and brown eyes were shut and watching dreams.


	8. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recovery = a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength; the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost

Laverne fell asleep to the rhythm of Lenny's heartbeat, with Squiggy's chest hair against her back. She awoke to Squiggy suckling her right breast in his sleep, as Lenny played big spoon on her right and snored in her ear. Both men had morning erections. She was equally aroused and amused. But she really had to pee.

She carefully pried herself out and crawled over Squiggy and off the bed. She stepped onto the cold floor and wished she'd stayed in the middle of all that warmth. She shut the bathroom door behind her, since she was not at that level of intimacy with them that she didn't care about privacy anymore. After using the toilet, she washed her hands and looked in the mirror. Her green eyes looked dazed again, but she had just woken up. More noticeably, she had what she always thought of as post-coital pinkness, that rosy glow her face took on after a night of satisfactory sex. She could remember the time Shirley innocently asked, "Are you wearing a new foundation since you started dating Randy? It's very flattering to your complexion."

Last night had been confusing, frustrating, and at times upsetting, but there was no denying it was orgasmic. She couldn't help smiling shyly at herself.

She decided to freshen up. First she showered, thinking of the boys touching her body last night, until she had to masturbate, keeping her sighs and moans quiet enough to be drowned out by the water. She imagined the guys' reactions if they knew, which only excited her more.

Then she shampooed, conditioned, and rinsed, thinking of how Lenny kept stroking her hair, seeming as fond of it as Squiggy was of her breasts. She wasn't surprised that Squiggy was such a tit-man, even if he did put Shirley above Rhonda on his list. Laverne was proud of her chest, but she wasn't used to it getting this much attention, even when she worked the Playboy Club. She did finally understand why Squiggy had been unable to make lewd remarks during that part of bunny training. He'd obviously been thrown off by his old friend appearing as such a blatant sex object.

As for Lenny and hair, that was surprising yet not. Lenny was a very tactile person and eager to be tender with her, whether or not making love. Or maybe Lenny as a lover couldn't "make such distinguishments," as he would've put it, so that he was always making love even when he wasn't having sex.

She stepped out of the shower and wrapped one towel around her head and another around her body. She was impressed that Squiggy had done the laundry in her absence, leaving plenty of fresh towels.

She brushed her teeth to get rid of morning breath and thought of Lenny swallowing Squiggy's semen, without gagging mind you. Shirley would've been revolted just knowing Laverne had swallowed Squiggy's saliva.

Shirley had not yet replied to Laverne's letter announcing that the boys had moved in, but the mail took awhile going to and from Germany, and Laverne had waited a week before telling her, because she was sure Shirley would think it was a bad idea. Or maybe Shirley had replied and Squiggy had forgotten to tell her.

She knew she absolutely could not tell her best girl friend about the threesome. It'd be different if she was just dating Lenny. Shirley would probably be surprised but not.

Laverne thought about putting on makeup, but it wasn't like she was going out on a date. She settled for undoing her towel turban and brushing out her damp hair. She decided to air-dry it rather than use the blow-dryer.

And date or not, she knew she should refresh her diaphragm. She had put it in before heading downstairs in her nightie, just in case, trying not to think about putting it in before the beach party or taking it out the next morning. She had snuck home after the stranger priest made arrangements for her to stay at St. Andrew's. The boys weren't around and she didn't know if Lenny had left on his tour yet. She was relieved Squiggy wasn't there, since he had once called her Laverne DeFloozio for making out with his acrobat client who she hadn't realized was married. But it would've been nice to hug Lenny goodbye. Anyway, she had quickly packed her plaid suitcase and taken out and cleaned her diaphragm, before storing it in its case, perhaps forever, definitely for the next two weeks.

She now took the diaphragm out of herself, washed it with soap and water, then held it up to the light, checking for holes and other damages. It was still intact but she thought she might switch to the Pill if this thing with Lenny and Squiggy continued. She had the feeling she might be in for a lot of spontaneous sex. For now, she was just glad she got her period at the convent. She sighed, put fresh contraceptive jelly in the cap, and reinserted it, washing her hands afterwards.

She opened the bathroom door and saw that Lenny was now spooning Squiggy, who was facing left but still smacking his lips in his sleep. She was very tempted to get back into bed with them, but she hadn't had much to eat at the convent and she could only go so far on lettuce and bologna, particularly after all the physical and emotional energy she expended last night.

She decided to go downstairs and make breakfast for everyone. It seemed like the right thing to do the Saturday morning after a friendly little orgy.

She thought about putting on clothes, but it wasn't like anyone was likely to come in without knocking. Carmine and Rhonda were both out of town, and Lenny and Squiggy were already there, and they had seen her naked. It was possible her pop might stop by, but she would have to hope he'd be at Cowboy Bill's. She knew she would have to face him sometime, but hopefully not before she'd sorted out how she felt about last night and what it all meant, in itself and for the future.

She could've put on her green nightie, but it wasn't exactly fresh and clean. And if she were honest with herself, it was titillating to walk around the apartment in just a towel, the morning after she bedded two men. She felt shameless, after two weeks of shame. Why did being a victim make her feel like a bad person, while freely deciding to be a bimbo, a floozy, and worse gave her such a boost? Not that she had anticipated everything that had happened last night, but the boys had been surprised, too, if less so.

When she got to the kitchen, she put an apron on over her towel. She decided on pancakes and wanted to protect herself from the splatter.

The boys had cleaned the dining area and kitchen after supper. They really had turned out to be much better roommates than anyone could've predicted.

She giggled. She had giggled more in the past twelve hours than she had in months, probably not since the pot brownies.

She made a huge stack of pancakes. She was sure the boys were as hungry as she was. "Not that they're the toughest men to satisfy," she said aloud as she set down the butter and syrup.

"Hello," Squiggy said from the top of the stairs, with a blank expression. Lenny smiled shyly from behind Squiggy. It looked like Lenny had put on the Bullwinkle pajamas, while Lenny's white undershirt made a short nightshirt for Squiggy.

"Grub!" both boys cried, like they were prospectors who had been wandering in the desert looking for gold. Well, prospectors who had just shaved and showered. They raced down the stairs and over to the table. As they took their chairs, Laverne noticed that their erections were gone, and she had a pretty good idea how that happened.


	9. Stabilization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stabilization = the process of making something physically more secure, stable, or steady; the process of becoming or being made unlikely to change, fail, or decline

The boys demolished the stack in record time, while Laverne filled up with three pancakes. She had offered to make them eggs, toast, bacon, or any other side dish, but they said pancakes were plenty. She had made fresh squeezed juice from the oranges that grew out front, something she still hadn't gotten used to after two years in California. She had of course not picked any oranges in half a month, but Squiggy apparently had.

"Thank you, Laverne," said Lenny, letting out a far from cosmic burp.

"You're welcome, but it'll be your turn to make lunch."

"OK," he said as if he wasn't sure if she was joking, and she wasn't either. Well, it couldn't be any weirder than Squiggy's sandwiches, could it?

"And now for dessert," Squiggy said lasciviously, as he started clearing the table.

Lenny grinned and said, "I'll get the Bosco and honey."

She'd never understood how they could shift gears so easily, although Lenny had once told her it was because they were truck drivers. She'd thought they might all talk about their three-sided relationship some more after breakfast, but apparently the boys' mouths at least would be busy awhile longer.

She knew she could say no, even now, or say a different yes. But, while this wasn't exactly what she pictured as she sat there in her towel and apron, thinking it more likely the three of them would end up on the couch, she liked what the boys seemed to be offering. So once all that was left on the table was toppings, she stripped off her towel without removing her apron and climbed up onto the table, sitting on the edge, her legs dangling.

"You're such a good cook, Laverne," Lenny said both shyly and enthusiastically.

"You don't have to butter me up," she said with just the right blend of plausible-deniability flirtation and _I know what you want to do to me_ suggestiveness.

He blushed both as if he'd never been inside her but longed to be and as if he vividly remembered what it was like to be inside her.

"General Squiggy," as she had called him in amused annoyance last night, was of course thinking logistics. "I'll take the left flank as usual, at least to start."

The hippie saluted. "Yes, Sir!" he shouted, not in the slightest sarcastic.

She had just begun to think of how Lenny was almost always up for whatever Squiggy suggested, even becoming the Len-o-vac, when Lenny started blowing in her right ear and Squiggy kissed her left ear.

"Wanna taste you everywhere, Laverne," Lenny breathed, then Squiggy whispered, "We're gonna eat ya like you've never been eaten before."

She knew that the boast was a simple statement of fact. She had never been with, never met, any men like these two. And of course Lenny would express his desire in over-the-top terms.

She didn't know if she was going to be their sole focus, or if they hoped that she would return the favor, or if she needed to give them space to pleasure each other. She was still figuring out how this group thing worked. She reminded herself that they were still new at threesomes, too. And, despite all knowing each other since childhood, they were seeing each other in a new context now. Also, she got the impression last night that adding her on was going to have some impact on the boys' long-established whatever.

Anyway, here she was sitting on her own kitchen table, dressed only in an apron, as she necked with both Lenny and Squiggy. And when she'd pause for breath, they'd neck with each other, which was definitely interesting to watch from that up close. Since moving to the Los Angeles area, she had seen men kiss. It wasn't often, because even in mid- to late '60s Southern California, it wasn't something that homosexuals were too public about. She and the boys had no way of knowing that Stonewall and Gay Liberation were just a couple years away, but they thought of themselves as living in a liberated time and place, compared to the '50s Midwest that they all carried around in their heads to one degree or another.

She had always thought of queers as both comical and perverted, and Lenny and Squiggy were certainly both, but she wasn't repulsed or amused that morning. These were her dear friends, and her most recent sex partners. She felt honored by their trust, and turned on. Seeing them kiss and then neck was a little like kissing and necking with them herself, but she could observe more. Their lips, eyes, hands.

She suddenly remembered the first time she saw them kiss, a couple months ago, although that had been an accident. During what had until fairly recently been the worst time of her life, the boys visited her on Death Row. (A long story that started with her so stupid with loneliness that she fell in with a bad crowd who were planning to rob a bank, and ended with Lenny running to tell her father, who found a way to get her out of prison.) Lenny and Squiggy had closed their eyes and tried to kiss her at the same time. After that kiss, Lenny said, "I told you she was a good kisser." Lenny's eyes were now open but rolling back a bit as Squiggy's agile tongue teased the vein throbbing in Lenny's neck.

The boys were French kissing when their hands snaked down to her chest. Squiggy squeezed and teased her left breast. Lenny caressed and cupped her right breast. She still had the apron on.

Squiggy's hands went up to the back of her neck, while he kissed back over to her ear. As he undid the tie around her neck, he whispered hypnotically, "Lie back, Laverne."

Even now, as the top of her apron fell forward, fully exposing her torso, she could've said, "Can't we just go back to bed, where it's comfortable?" Instead, she slowly leaned into Lenny's strong, gentle hands as he cushioned her descent onto the table.

Then he let go, kissed her cheek, and reached for the stick of butter. He didn't use the knife but instead smeared it on with his fingertips. She felt a little greasy but not in a bad way. At least the boys weren't going to be using lard, she hoped.

Squiggy got the bottle of Log Cabin and tilted it so that it dripped ever so slowly over the parts of her chest and stomach that Lenny had already buttered. She wondered where the honey and Bosco fit in, but she could be patient.

Then the boys leaned down so that they could kiss and lick her torso, starting with her breasts, of course. Squiggy went more slowly on her left breast than he had last night, and Lenny's attentions on her right were sweet and tender. As if for the first time, she realized she had two men focusing on her, her body, her pleasure, but judging from their happy sounds, they were enjoying this very much. Having double the— boyfriends? lovers?— was overwhelming but it was also lovely and exciting. Sometimes she looked back and forth at each face, and sometimes she just closed her eyes and felt.

Part of her wanted to crack, "Can you even taste me under all that?", or make some pun on "stacked." Instead, she told them how good this felt, and stroked their hair, gently teasing the black hair-worm, keeping the long blond bangs from getting in the way. And then when they sucked on her breasts, she just made happy sounds of her own.

One of Lenny's hands went up to stroke her face, as Squiggy's slipped between her legs, stickily teasing her clit under her apron. After a couple minutes, Lenny gave her nipple a little smooch and then moved away enough to get the honey jar, which he dipped Squiggy's other hand into, licking the fingers a little. Then Squiggy shifted around so that he was sitting with his head under her apron. She felt him stroking honey and Lenny's saliva onto her clit and her labia. And then he started licking them off her, until he held his other hand out and Lenny dipped that into the jar.

She wanted to watch Squiggy eat her out but the apron was in the way and Lenny started soul-kissing her and stroking both her breasts, so she just tried to focus on how she felt. Well, damn good of course, but more specifically, amused and dazzled and really horny.

A part of her wished that she and Lenny had started making out years ago, maybe not back in high school, when he first starting chasing her, but maybe a few years after that, when they started getting really close and opening up to each other emotionally. Had she cheated herself out of years of happiness, chasing after some Mr. Right who didn't exist? No, she knew in a way that she had needed to go through a lot of what she'd gone through, loved the men she'd loved, just as Lenny needed his own journey to get to this point. And making out at almost 30 was still as much fun as when she was half this age. Well, more so, if she was getting simultaneous cunnilingus.

Squiggy apparently had the honey jar in that little apron-cave, but she could tell he was also enjoying the DeFazio flavor, from his muttered profanity. His lips and tongue sometimes sucked her clit as his fingers spread her wider, and other times his mouth was on her and his tongue inside her as his fingers played with her clit.

"Your best friend is eating me!" she whispered in Lenny's left ear when they'd switched to necking.

"He said he wanted to, before he gets his cock in you, to really see and taste and smell you," he whispered back, and then tenderly kissed that ear.

"You talked about it?"

"Of course, in the shower." She remembered him once telling Charles Grodin that he lathered up Squiggy's hair, while himself standing outside the stall, but apparently there were times when they did shower together, that morning being one.

"Did you, did you guys touch each other?"

She could feel him blush. "Yeah, well, you weren't there, and we didn't know how you felt about all this, but we hoped you'd want more, but after breakfast."

"I do want more. I want— Oh, Jesus, Squiggy!"

"He's good, huh?" Lenny said with both pride and jealousy.

"Yeah, but, it's not a competition you know."

"I know. But I hope you'll let me eat you when he's done."

"Hey, we can't let the Bosco go to waste."

He guffawed, in that endearing Lenny way.

She kissed his cheek and then she panted obscenities in his ear as Squiggy made her come a couple times.

Afterwards, Squiggy wiped his face and hands on the skirt of her apron, then leaned back in the chair, sighing contentedly, looking like he'd just had Chicago-style barbecue. "That is some of the best pussy I have ever eaten."

"And yet I'm still only number four on your list."

"Nah, you dethroned Rhonda when you tried to deep-throat me. Plus she can't cook."

"Ooo, what do I have to do to kick Rosie's big ass?"

"Hmmm," he said, one of his hands cupping her bottom.

"Not on the first date. I mean, what kind of girl do you think I am?"

"A sexy, sassy, scrumptitious girl," he said, as he reached higher and undid the tie around her waist.

She blushed and had no reply, but Lenny wistfully said, "It's real nice down there, huh, Squig?"

"Stupid, you've had your dick in her, you should know. So grab your Bosco and get that big tongue down here while I get a drink of water."

"You heard the general, Private Kosnowski," Laverne said. "Drop and give me twenty."

Lenny grinned, saluted them both, and got ready to make some more love rather than war.


	10. Increased Capacity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Increased capacity = expanded space or ability, something that has grown bigger or greater to better hold something or serve needs

Now it was Lenny in the chair closest to the part of the table where Laverne's legs were spread, revealing her soaking and sticky vulva. He had first gone along her right side, down from that ear, that part of her neck, that shoulder, that breast, and then a detour to her navel. His kisses were loving although not lingering, because he had a definite destination. He headed outward and downward to the right side of her waist and then gave her right hip a smooch before moving to the chair.

Squiggy meanwhile got out of the chair, poured himself a glass of tap water, drank some, said, "Ahhh!", and came back to the table to offer her the half-empty glass. She was surprised by the thoughtfulness of the gesture, even though he'd just performed a very generous act of foreplay. She noticed that he didn't even offer Lenny a sip, but then Lenny's mouth was definitely busier than hers right then.

Squiggy helped her to sit up and he angled the glass so she could drink. She felt like she was a patient and he was a male nurse, but maybe in some weird way he thought of this weekend as healing her. She was touched rather than insulted.

After he set aside the empty glass, he said, "I figured you needed replenition after giving my face a juice bath."

She blushed and said, "Thank you," knowing he'd know she didn't just mean for the water.

He shrugged. "Well, I want some more wet kisses."

So they were French kissing, as she kept sitting up, when Lenny gently kissed her clitoris. But Squiggy seemed to know how important eye contact was to her and Lenny, how it was their primary connection, and it wasn't the sort of thing he got jealous over. He shifted so that he wasn't blocking her view of the sweet blue eyes and the long blond bangs. She stroked Lenny's hair out of the way, but she also stroked the black hair in gratitude.

Squiggy had moved to where he could squeeze and tease her chest, as well as blow in her ear. And whisper a mildly foul-mouthed running commentary on what Lenny was doing to her. He couldn't see what she was experiencing, but he was starting to know her body well, and obviously he was very knowledgeable about Lenny's technique. "...Of course, since he loves you, he's going to do more of the kissing and caressing, not just smearing you with Bosco and licking you up. He'll naturally wanna make you come, but he's also wooing you, showing you how crazy he is about you, not just your pussy, and hoping you'll fall for him at least a little."

She drew in her breath and then let it out slowly.

"Oh, that must be the Kosnowski Chocolate Swirl," he said like a connoisseur.

"Squig, can you just do me a favor and not talk right now?"

He didn't look offended, prickly though he could be. "Can I suck your tit?"

"Knock yourself out."

So he had her lie down again and poured honey on her left breast as Lenny breathed on her inner lips. Squiggy devoted himself to that breast, and she stroked his greasy and now sticky hair, as she shifted her head so she could still see Lenny's eyes. She swore she felt Lenny whisper, "I love you," on her labia, but even if she was wrong, she shivered. She definitely had a crush on Lenny now, and was finding herself fonder of and more attracted to Squiggy than she had ever thought was humanly possible. But she didn't want to make more of all this than it was, especially early on. Only a month ago, it had been Mike's brown eyes looking up at her with affection as his curly brown hair brushed against her pubes. She let herself feel that memory for a moment instead of just pushing it away.

Mike hadn't had food kinks. In fact, maybe because of rather than in spite of being a fashion photographer who traveled the world, he honestly hadn't really cared what they had for dinner. She once or twice passed off chicken from a bucket as fried by her rather than the Colonel, and he hadn't noticed. Lenny and Squiggy obviously were going to be very different boyfriends, or whatever they were.

Squiggy would likely stick around until he actually got his penis in her vagina, while Lenny was probably hers for as long as she wanted. She would enjoy the novelty of Squiggy while she had it, and sort out her feelings for and about Lenny as they settled into what Squiggy called "monotony."

She suddenly thought of something. "Hey, Squig, we know what me and Lenny have been up to recently, but what about you? You got lucky lately?"

He stopped massaging her nipple with his lips and tongue to look up at her and say, "Well, I've been in a dry spell for a month, before this weekend of course. But with your rule about not bringing dames home, and me and Lenny's rubber collection being tragically lost in the earthquake, maybe it's just as well."

She wanted to tell him, "That's not a tragedy! Having my boyfriend killed by a falling spotlight while he's working is tragicomic." But she knew how he meant it.

Then he added, "And we're gonna make sure you have a very wet spell this weekend," and licked his lips.

"Is that your forecast?"

"My forecast, my foreshadowing, and my foreplay." He went back to playing with her breast.

Lenny started caressing her clitoris with his fingers as he kissed inside her lower mouth. She moaned and tilted herself for him, which made her thrust her chest out for Squiggy more. The boys pleasured her with the sort of enthusiasm they put into any project, no matter how wacky. They made her come and she could only beg for more, not caring that she was humbling herself to two men that Shirley had said more than once she did not want to go through eternity linked to. There was also power in this, not true humiliation, because she felt like the sexiest girl in the world, having them serve and service her. And, yes, there was affection and lust and emotions she couldn't yet identify.

"Eat me, Len, God, yes, just like that!" she cried. "Oo, Squiggy, you tease!"

Squiggy waited until after she had a particularly mind-blowing orgasm before he risked moving his mouth back up to whisper in her ear. This time, he said, "He's been a very happy man since you started wearing miniskirts. I like how they make your ass look, but Lenny loves seeing your tan legs every day. And he always thinks about eating you out. Shit, I had to listen to him for a week talk about that extra short white-striped purple minidress with white go-go boots you was wearing the day he asked you to run off to Vegas with him to win our bet about which of you girls was gonna get married first. Lady, you lost out on a hell of a honeymoon when he lost that bet."

"Who knew?" she panted.

"Oh well," he said, patting her breast like he was patting her hand, "you still get to fuck his face without having to leave the privacy of home."

"Uh huh!" She was rubbing her vulva against Lenny's starving face and hungry hands, needing his love and attention and, God please, just one more orgasm. "YES!" she shouted triumphantly when she got it.

Lenny moved his face so she could see all of it, including his Bosco-and-cum-smeared mouth. His long fingers started massaging deep inside her walls. "My cock is really hard right now, Laverne, if you want it."

She gripped his hand with her cunt but she asked, "Squiggy, are we gonna fuck today? Or you still waiting until you're closer to death?"

"I kinda figured we'd save that for the big finally."

She didn't know if he meant for that weekend or that morning, but she said, "In that case, Len, can you lie down on the table and I'll lie on top of you?" She hoped the table could bear that much weight. 

Lenny nodded eagerly, then stood up and stripped off his pajama bottoms. Then he lay on the table next to her, his long legs hanging off so that his feet touched the floor. She kissed his sweet and sweetened face, then climbed on top of him. She sank onto his long hard cock until their dark blond pubic hair intermingled and her stiff clit met the hardness of his pubic bone.

"OH, DARLING LAVERNE!"

"Watching you two is better than anything I've seen live on the Sunset Strip or in Tijuana."

"Uh, thanks, Squig." She knew they weren't just real-life porno for Squiggy, and this wasn't like the sailors watching the "auction," but it did feel odd to have someone witnessing and commenting on what was private with all her other boyfriends. Lenny was her boyfriend, wasn't he? Well, if Jake the Snake counted, then Lenny should.

To her surprise, Squiggy pulled up his chair so that he could whisper in and lick Lenny's ear. She could look over and see Lenny somehow getting even more turned on by whatever Squiggy was saying to him. She shook her head and lay flat on Lenny, resting her ear so that she mostly just heard his heart.

She and Lenny moved slowly together, getting used to this new-for-them-together position. His penis explored from below, as if remembering this place from the night before but still marveling at its splendor. Her vagina sometimes had to clench, just hold this dear new friend, this object that filled her as she needed to be filled, but sometimes she managed to tease him, move an inch or two this way and that.

Squiggy couldn't stay out of it. She knew that by now. It was annoying but somehow endearing, and she supposed it came with the territory for a threesome, especially a new one. So even when he sat so that he could rub both her butt and Lenny's, she didn't mind. As a matter of fact, she really liked it, Squiggy making her and Lenny grind together.

Lenny panted both their names helplessly as he came, which made her come, feeling Lenny spill upward and deep inside her, so that she spilled downward and onto him and the already very messy tablecloth. 

"You boys are such sloppy roommates," she said seductively afterwards.

"Oh, this place was already a shambles once Shirley left," Squiggy said.

Lenny stroked her hair. "Laverne, do you wanna cuddle in bed?"

"Well, I think we should find out Squiggy's plans first."

"Me? Well, I'd really like you to stay right where you are so I can give you doggy style."

Lenny let out a combination groan-growl that showed he heartily approved.

Laverne raised her butt in the air and asked, "Should I go put on a miniskirt?"

"Nah, I got a imagination."

"The red one, Squig!" Lenny said suggestively and as a suggestion.

"Nice choice, Len. The one she wore when she sung with you, with the halter top that showed off her tits in a nice subtitled way. Yeah, above the knee with 1965 modesty, and of course the go-go boots. Yeah, I can work with that. Laverne a couple years ago, all flirty and sassy, but kind of self-conscience."

"After you told me I had no talent," she had to point out.

"No talent for soppy sentiment like Shirley and Carmine."

She decided not to argue about it, not when they were about to, well, fuck. She was going to fuck Andrew Squiggman! He was going to fuck her! After all the fooling around, this felt unreal. But she wasn't going to pass it up, not if she could have it while holding on to the boy who was her place of safety.

Squiggy moved to the side of the table— did a round table have sides?— where he could rub her bottom and insert his cock into her cunt from behind. "Very, very nice," he said as he inched in.

"Nice?!" Laverne and Lenny both cried indignantly.

"I said very, very." He reached around to slip his hand between his friends and then started massaging her clit, while petting Lenny's pubes. "The thing is, Laverne, your reputation proceeds you, so I'm sorting out the reality from that."

"You're inside Laverne." Lenny's tone was scolding, yet baffled. "You should show your appreciation."

"Well, if you insist." He teased her with his hand and his cock as he said, "This is some of the best pussy I've ever fucked. And it's part of the beautiful mess that is Laverne DeFazio. So, if it's quite all right with you, I'm gonna fuck you hard and fast, so that your poor, wet, open, and hungry cunt can't help coming at least one more time, and Lenny will wish he was hard enough to take over when I'm done."

"Lift that red skirt, Squiggy," she crooned. "Take me in the Cowboy Bill's parking lot, up against your truck, while I'm giddy from singing and flirting with Lenny in front of tens of people."

"Goddamn you, Woman!" he groaned and plunged back in.

She was ready for him, ready to feel his quick but hard thrusts, like a jackhammer, like a jackrabbit. And beneath her, Lenny's never-fading love warmed her, steadied her.

She wanted to mention Squiggy's beehived date and Sabrina the waitress. She wanted to say that she was just Laverne, an ordinary girl, someone different from what everyone, including maybe herself, thought. But she said, "Damn, this feels good! Both of you! YES!"

Both she and Squiggy ended up coming on their uncomplaining friend, even though Squiggy was quite verbal about wanting to come in her cunt and have her come all over his cock.

For awhile, the three of them lay stunned and stacked like three pancakes. Then the silence was broken by "I know I'll go from rags to riches." Either Tony Bennett had dropped by, or Carmine Ragusa was back from Vegas a week early.


	11. Mitigation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mitigation = the process or result of making something less severe, dangerous, painful, harsh, or damaging

A remarkably short time later, the boys were sitting at the table fully clothed and Laverne was hiding naked in the closet by the front door. She had thought of going up to her room, but she figured it was easier to eavesdrop where she was.

Carmine knocked and said uncertainly, "Anybody home?"

"The door's unlocked," Squiggy called out, making Laverne realize he hadn't locked it when he came home. They were lucky that Carmine, or worse, Laverne's father, hadn't burst in.

Carmine entered and said, "Oh, hey, Lenny, I didn't know you were back."

"Yeah, last night."

"Oh, I just got here. I'm guessing Laverne is still at fat camp, with the mess you guys made at breakfast."

She hadn't written to Carmine from the convent, since he was away, too, but Squiggy probably told him her cover story over the phone or in a letter.

"We expect her to come later today," Squiggy said without obvious innuendo.

"Um, how was Vegas?" Lenny asked.

"Great! I met a casting agent from New York who wants me to fly out there and audition for a movie musical."

"Wow, congratulations, Carmine!"

"Would you like a manager to go with you for contract negotiations?"

"Thanks, Squig, but it's not definite."

"Are you gonna go?"

"I don't know, Len. I want to talk things out with Laverne first, because she's so sensible. Well, most of the time."

"What are we, chopped Limburger?"

"No offense. I trusted you with this building after all. By the way, what are you guys still doing here?"

"We live here."

"I mean at the girls' place. Wait, you didn't tell him, did you, Squiggy?"

"Tell me what?"

"When I called a couple days ago to check in, Squiggy said that the repairs were done. Unless he was lying."

"You can go see for yourself."

"I will. When Laverne gets back, please send her up so I can talk to her."

"We will," Lenny said quietly.

Laverne waited a few minutes after the three men said goodbye and Carmine's footsteps faded away before she emerged from the closet wearing Squiggy's cape. It was the easiest thing to put on in the dark, and she knew he couldn't complain about the food and other stains she'd leave on the lining. Not after what he'd done.

The boys were sitting on the couch, Lenny holding his guitar but not playing it, Squiggy reading the newspaper.

"You lied to me!"

"When?" Squiggy asked, calmly turning the page.

"OK, it wasn't a lie but you should've told me that you were ready to move out."

"I wasn't ready to move out."

"No, not until you lured me into a threesome."

He set the paper on the coffee table and said, "It's more like not until I talked to you about why you lied to me."

"You knew I didn't go to fat camp," she whispered as it hit her.

"Please sit down."

She knew she could've just gone upstairs, locked her door, and taken a shower. But she sank into the chair where she'd sat last night and blindly told the boys what she'd gone through. She refused to tell that story again.

It turned out that Squiggy wanted to do most of the talking. "Two weeks ago, Lenny didn't want to go on tour without saying goodbye to you, but you had been out all night at a beach party. I insisted he honor his commitment to the band, because in show biz your word is your bondage."

She couldn't laugh at this Squiggism, not when she was picturing poor Lenny waiting for her, unaware of why she had stayed out so late.

"So I drove him over to meet up with the band, and I guess you came home while I was gone, although I didn't realize that until later. I didn't get surreptitious until your friend called, the chick who threw the party."

"Linda," Laverne mumbled.

"Yeah. She said you had left your sweater behind and she just wanted to check to see if you were OK. I told her I hadn't seen you, so she told me you probably got lucky. Laughing, she said you left the party really drunk and with two handsome sailors."

Linda wasn't a bad person. She hadn't been that sober a hostess but she had been more sober than Laverne. No doubt it had been amusing, watching typical boy-crazy Laverne. Linda had no way of knowing what happened to Laverne after that.

"She dropped off your sweater later, surprised and a little worried you still hadn't come back. When I got your letter about fat camp a couple days later, I called her and read it to her over the phone. She thought it was funny, you drunkardly running off to an all-night buffet with two handsome sailors. I didn't tell her I already had my doubts about your cover story."

"Doubts?" Laverne repeated.

"Yeah, remember, the party was on a Friday night and I didn't get your letter until Monday. So I had a whole weekend, mostly on my own, to wonder where you were and why. Best case scenarium, you'd really hit it off with one of the sailors and was spending the whole weekend with him. Worst case, well, I was glad Lenny was still in blissful ignoramus and wouldn't have to think about the worst."

She now looked at Lenny, who was hugging his guitar like a teddy bear, his face half hidden by his long blond hair.

"I didn't know what to think when I noticed your plaid suitcase was gone."

Her attention snapped back to Squiggy, although all she said was, "Yeah?"

"Yeah, it was after Linda left that I started playing detective. Why hadn't you taken your sweater? Yeah, it was a warm night and this isn't Milwaukee, but were you planning to come back to the party? Or were you just too drunk to be practical? So I started investigating, and I noticed that suitcase was missing. I couldn't see you dragging it to a beach party, so you must've come and got it either when me and Lenny was sleeping, or while I was dropping him off. That loaned support to the romantic-weekend-with-a-handsome-sailor theorem."

She could picture it, a happier version of herself, a Laverne whose life hadn't turned to shit when she lost Shirley.

"I did some more snooping. I found Shirley's old diaries and wondered about the real reason she married Walter Meeney, but that was a mystery that could wait. I knew that if I didn't hear from Laverne in the next couple days, I might have to call the police."

She felt guilty that she hadn't left a note, but she wouldn't have known what to say at that point, and she'd been in a hurry to get ready and catch the bus. There'd been time to shower and change, to try to remove the traces of her awful night, although she would still feel soiled for at least another week, even after freezing showers at the convent.

"I looked to see what clothes you took, but it was just your everyday clothes, except more than you'd need for a weekend. Not that I had an exact invitory of your wardrobe, but Lenny had described every particle of your clothing at some point."

Lenny was blushing and she wished she could tease him about it, but she didn't feel the slightest bit playful.

"I thought about checking your negligence drawer, but I didn't know what you owned so I wouldn't have known what was missing. But I did find clothes crumpled up at the bottom of your closet, the outfit you wore to the beach party."

She had torn off and thrown the clothes that the auction winner had partly ripped off her. She had thought about burning them, but she hadn't had time.

"I could see that the shoulder of the blouse was ripped and there were stains on the back of the skirt like you'd been lying on a dirty floor. At first I chuckled about your wild night and thought you liked it rough. Then it hit me. Your L, your poor little L. Whoever you had been with had not respected your L. I wanted to call Lenny, so I didn't have to deal with this alone, but I wasn't ready to break it to him, to break him."

Lenny was of course crying quietly now, but there were unshed tears in the fierce dark eyes. She wanted to hug and comfort both men, even though she'd been the victim and at the time thought that she didn't deserve comfort.

"So I continued the investigalization. I found your diatribe in its case. I didn't know if you'd worn it to the party, but you definitely hadn't taken it wherever you went after you came home. That made the romantic weekend even more unlikely. And when I finally got your letter, it didn't really clear up the mystery."

She wished she'd done a better job of covering her tracks, but she'd just wanted to hide away from everyone she knew, as well as throw herself on God's mercy.

"There was no return address, so I figured you was embarrassed about wherever you were, fat camp or not, and you didn't want me or your dad or anyone to write back. I talked to Mr. DeFazio and he believed you, but he didn't know about the beach party or all the clues I'd found. I had the feeling this at least wasn't a kidnapping or a murder, so I decided not to contact the police. I did talk to Rhonda and she said you're a grown woman and I should respect your privacy. And for all I knew, your clothes could've been wrecked in a scuffle at the buffet. You know, somebody elbowing you at the cold cuts table or something. She did find it peculious that you took your clothes, I mean your other clothes, to a fat camp, but maybe they was supposed to be motivating."

Lenny suddenly spoke up for the first time since Carmine left. He tossed his blond mane back and grumbled, "He told me after Rhonda."

As if continuing a running argument, Squiggy said, "Because I knew you was gonna worry about her, and Rhonda wouldn't."

Speaking directly to Laverne, Lenny said, "He waited until after he found out there was no fat camp in that ZIP code. And only because I asked if he'd heard anything from you since I left."

"I was still gathering evidence, but I'd hit a dead end. Was I supposed to try to find out where else you could be staying in the viciousinity or should I just let it go? And Mr. Peace-and-Love wanted to form a vigilance group to hunt down the two party-crashing sailors for hurting you or letting someone else hurt you, even though they'd probably shipped out by then."

The blue eyes looked angry and defiant, the brown were weeping.

She wanted to hug both these men that she loved in different ways, but she'd been reminded that they weren't the only ones she loved. "OK, Boys, here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna go upstairs, take a shower, and put on jeans and a T-shirt. You two will clean up the kitchen and dining area. I will go talk to Carmine about his future, and I'll update him on as much of my recent past as feels comfortable. Then I'll go to Cowboy Bill's and ask my pop if I can speak to him privately."

Both boys stared at her, but neither spoke.

"I won't tell him about you two, because I don't know exactly what's going on here, and I want to have that sorted out before I spring it on him, if I ever do. But I'm going to tell him what happened to me on the aircraft carrier. And he can blame me and yell, or be ashamed and stop speaking to me. Or he can love and support me like the good if flawed person that I am."

Lenny was gazing at her with utter adoration. But Squiggy looked down as he impatiently brushed away his tears and said, "We'll move out while you're gone."

"No, Squig!" Lenny whispered hoarsely.

Squiggy looked up and stroked Lenny's hair. "It's time, Len. And we can still visit."

She wanted to laugh because it was so ridiculous, when they'd be right across the hall and had never shown the slightest hesitation about visiting her and Shirley. But she felt a little sad, realizing she would again be living alone. She knew Squiggy was right though. She couldn't think clearly about them if she shared an apartment with them, not so early on in whatever this was.

She stood up, nodded, and said, "You can keep Jeffrey here if you want."

Lenny grinned, set down his guitar, and came over to give her a bear hug. "Thanks, Laverne, you're the best!"

She hugged back, even though she was wearing only a cape, because it wasn't sexual at that moment.

When they let go, Squiggy was reading the paper again. "I'm taking the moths," he told Ann Landers.

"Oh, darn," said Laverne.

"She still gets weekends with them though, right?"

"We can discuss that when she gets back."

She had the feeling there was a lot to discuss, from what a threesome involved besides sex to whether her father was still paying Squiggy to not ask her out. But right now, she called on her waitress training and took down their take-out order for Cowboy Bill's. Lenny could make dinner.


End file.
